Shrinktastic

Vacation yaaaaay!

That means all kinds of extra time to myself.

I will be sleeping and watching TV shows until my eyes can’t take any more.

God, do I feel a million times better.

Just getting back into the swing of vegan-eating-and-exercising-daily.

After starting my 70+ hour-a-week job the morning after I got home from Italy, I fell into a severe funk of convenient junk foods and not exercising whatsoever.  I also started drinking and smoking again and got barely any sleep every night.  (I KNOW - when I fall off the bandwagon of taking care of myself, I fall off HARD.)

I didn’t really gain a whole lot of weight, but I have felt like crap for months now.

So, since my membership at my (horrible, awful) neighborhood gym is up next month and I get to find a new gym (with a swimming pool!) and I have some extra money to kick around on fresh produce and vegan fare, and I have been sleeping way, WAY more, I have decided to get back to the weight loss business.

There are a lot of bad habits to change:

- Constant snacking
- Junk food cravings
- Smoking
- Drinking
- Staying up all night and getting up very early
- Sedentary lifestyle

But I feel like I can tackle them.  In fact, I have already tackled the excessive drinking & sleep deprivation problem over the past 3 weeks.  I have been going to bed by 11pm every night and waking up at 6am every morning, and I have had no more than two beers and a small glass of red wine in the past 21 days.  Also, today was my first day of eating vegan again after nearly a year.  It went really well.  Eating vegan forces me to incorporate more fresh fruits and veggies into my daily intake and cuts out unnecessary (and potentially saturated) fats.  I have not really felt any different, but after about two weeks, I will have changed my cravings for junk food into cravings for fresh food and I will feel less bloated.  (I have done this before.)

Starting to exercise again is going to be the most difficult part.  I just have to MAKE the time, instead of excuses.

I am feeling really nervous because I leave for Lake Como tomorrow and I have no idea what to expect when I get there.  How am I going to function?  I will have to force myself to take myself out for dinner or something when I get there.  I will have to order in Italian and eat alone.  I can probably do that.  Maybe.

… uhmmmm …

Anyway, I did well today.  Not a lot of activity, but also, not a lot of food, so it balances out.  I mostly have just been very homesick.  I don’t have much of an appetite anymore because of that.

Right now, I am debating whether or not I should smoke a cigarette.  I really want one very badly, but I haven’t smoked in at least a month and I am thinking that if I want to start running again, I should not start smoking again.  But the problem is, I am not addicted to smoking.  Not in a chemical way.  I have never had headaches from not smoking and I have never craved a cigarette.  But I LOVE the act of smoking.  It is possible for me to go this long without smoking and barely think about it, but the kids’ older brother and his friend and girlfriend are here for the weekend and they have been smoking and they are my age and ALL I WANTED TO DO was smoke with them.  But I can’t.

Ugh.

COMPLIMENT:  It is really hard to think of one today.  I am going with my calves (again).  This is not my happiest day, if you can’t tell.